Tag Archives: Rants

Driving Relationships

Is it just me or do you start having relationships with drivers on the road with you? I start calling them by their make, model, and/or color. “Come on in Green Toyota, you let me merge back there a bit ago.” Is that silly? Is that just me? Oh, and thanks for cutting me off, Black Cadillac. I hate when people mistake half a car-length as an invitation.

Unfair, unethical World Series ticket sales

I have a huge issue with how tickets were sold here on Monday/Tuesday to the World Series games in Denver. My biggest issue is with the lying, unfair company behind the online ticket sales, Paciolan Inc.

Here’s a run-down of all the issues and what I suspect really happened:

  • No tickets were sold in-person: They said putting them all online would be more fair to the public. Wrong! It would’ve been more fair to put some tickets at Coors Field because Denver locals would be guaranteed fairly-priced tickets. Instead, people without internet access had to go to the local library (they still took the day off!). Someone (probably at Paciolan) convinced the Rockies to sell all their tickets online. You know, because people at work couldn’t go down and wait in line.
  • Delayed their press conference over an hour: Rockies officials said they’d talk about what would happen to ticket sales at 5:00pm yesterday. Nobody showed up until around 6:30pm. Unprofessional. Two problems, 1) it doesn’t take 5 hours to fix a server issue unless your code or architecture are severely unscalable, 2) you don’t leave millions of people hanging around waiting unless you really don’t have a good answer. They didn’t.
  • They were taken down by a DDoS attack: I think this is a downright lie. Paciolan says the Rockies ticket sales had nothing to do with their servers suddenly crawling to a halt on Monday. Thus, causing ticket sales to be suspended until noon the next day. No, this was not an attack, it was a lot of people trying to buy a ticket all at once. How do I know? They said they had backup plans ready for Tuesday. Yet… the servers crawled to a halt again. That’s how the internet works! No way was there an attack that couldn’t have been prevented (by a competent service provider).
  • Monday had many evenue web servers, Tuesday had one: On Monday we were directed to ev15.evenue.net… along with ev8, ev14 and a slew of other subdomains. On Tuesday I only saw ev3. My suspicion: they blocked certain users and sent them to a default error page that only refreshed with no intention of allowing a ticket purchase. I tried connecting to all the other evenue.net servers today with no luck. They obviously exist though, go search on Google. I have a strong suspicion because….
  • IP-blocking was occurring: Paciolan outright said they had blocked ‘suspicious’ IP addresses (you know, because of all that attacking going on). No way! By saying that we know they blocked people, but not specifically who or what. They could go straight to the firewall and deny multiple connections from the same IP-address and send them off to some phony page (like, the ev3 server). So, then Company A has 50 employees and they all try to connect at once. Paciolan then denies all of them sending them to ev3 and an eternity of refreshing. No intention of ever selling tickets to these people. Oops, what happened to the fairness of people buying tickets at work? Rumor has it they were also trying to blocking IPs that weren’t “local.”
  • Lying about refreshing a page: Paciolan put up a message on Tuesday saying that manually refreshing the page will put you at the ‘end of the line’. Despite the obvious fact their own page was a simple countdown that then, you guessed it, refreshed the page. Just another way to manipulate people and try to keep them from taking down their servers (again).

Long story short: Paciolan gets hit hard on Monday. Blocks a lot of people from buying tickets Tuesday. Lies to users and tells them not to refresh their pages. All because they don’t want to look like idiots that couldn’t handle World Series sales (or DDoS attacks for that matter).

If I were the Colorado Rockies (or any client of theirs for that matter) I would drop this company real quick for the shady, unprofessional job they did this week.

Everything is relative.

Everything is relative. I’ve been conducting an informal survey for a little while now: when I ask for ‘lots and lots of ketchup’ at the Chik-Fil-A drive-through I will receive either a) lots and lots of ketchup or b) three or four packets. The determining factor: how busy the Chik-Fil-A is. Something tells me if you work there and you hand out a dozen packets to a dozen cars in 5 minutes in a row you seem like you’re giving away too much. But, give away a dozen packets to a dozen cars in 30 minutes and you’re doing what you’re supposed to. (I think I’ll start saying ‘fill the bag with ketchup’.)

Captchas suck

I think my ‘captcha’ batting average is 300 right now. Captchas are what we call those annoying boxes at the end of a form, or before you download a file. They show you a jumble of letters and numbers and you have to enter what it is. Apparently this is to circumvent non-human interaction with websites. In other words, to make sure no scripts, bots, or programs are automatically stealing all the concert tickets. Well, so far, I’m not getting any tickets either..

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Miss Dewey Sucks

I want to talk about marketing production quality and how Miss Dewey lacks it. If you haven’t seen this site yet, it’s basically a search engine with a saucy librarian standing there being snarky and clever on occasion. If you don’t get around to typing in a search she’ll try to get your attention.

Quite annoying, really.

Does this novelty attract anyone? Sure. For the first visit. Do people come back again and again? No effing way.

Why not?

Humor works sparingly

Humor, as a marketing tool, gets old very quickly. Some people can execute humor extremely well. They end up making Miller Lite Commercials. But, do you see the same funny commercial more than once or twice during a football game? No way. The humor wears off and people become annoyed. Think of the Superbowl Commercials that get reused dozens of times for weeks after the game. You start to hate them pretty quickly.

The same goes for Dewey. She’ll grab a lot of quick attention but there’s no reason for me to go back and hear the same five witticisms on loop.

Quality over novelty

Here’s a fun bonus: turn up your volume when she begins talking and listen closely. You can hear the producers in the background (‘and… action’). They even talk to her (‘show me some more pouty… aw…’). How many people ignored that? That seems like a big oversight on someone’s part. I’d be embarrassed to put something like that on the web.

And that’s saying a lot given last my previous production!

Sure, the site probably didn’t take much time to make. Unfortunately, it shows. I think this is a pretty simplistic attempt at something ‘viral’ and so far it’s worked. But who did this, and why would they?

How to improve

Raise your hand if you enjoy Clippy.

Anyone with marketing sense would realize this is a terrible idea. First, where’s the value-added? It’s a talking search box on loop. Personally, I’d make her a lot more inappropriate. Suddenly an annoying gimmick becomes entertainment. That’s better execution. Godaddy used it and it seemed to work for them.

EVB messed up

This surprises me: after some quick research the company behind this site is EVB. They’ve made some great stuff and were even honored at SXSW for their work. EVB claims to “deliver entertaining and engaging content that connects with consumers” but I don’t see it in this site. I see an attempt to deliver something more personal (someone talking to me) and dynamic (my input or lack thereof initiates action from her).

But, overall, it’s lame. Daniel, if you’re listening, provide some insight, please?