Tag Archives: Noteworthy

Gym Etiquette

Since everyone who reads this will likely be finding happiness at a gym now I think it’s only fair I prepare another etiquette guide for those of us new to athletic clubs, locker rooms, and gyms in general.

Without further ado, the following should be observed whilst working out at the gym:

Coordinate your outfits

Style and fashion do not leave their hats at the door. As soon as you walk into the gym you haven’t left society. Dress appropriately. Ladies, this means your red tank top should be matching your red and white shoes and red scrunchies. This is common sense, I know, but I feel like I should explain it. You’re here to impress people and first impressions are never spoken.

Make eye contact

In fact, there’s rarely anything spoken. You may say hello to the lady at the front desk. You might even nod to the guy who walks in at the same time as you every day. But, other than that, keep the chit-chat to a minimum. To avoid conversations make sure to always bring reading material or a portable music player. If you feel the need to interact with people around you simply make eye-contact frequently; especially with those of the (attractive) opposite sex. I’m sure you’ll be fulfilling some sort of need by doing this.

Grunt and moan loudly

If you’re a guy you may not be able to use bright reds and pinks to attract women to you. That’s fine, you’re not a flower, you’re a man. Men lift big weights. So, grunt loudly and make obnoxious sounds when you lift. The benefits are threefold: it helps you lift the weight, it draws attention to you, and it stretches your vocal muscles. If you’re not making loud noises you know you’re not doing it right. If you don’t sound like you’re struggling you’re going to make the people around you feel inadequate. Don’t give the impression that being macho comes easy; it’s hard work.

Don’t wipe down equipment

If you want to help out people the last thing you do is clean up after yourself. You want to help the economy right? By leaving your mess for others you’re creating jobs. Personally, I keep two or three people employed on any given day. So, make sure you leave your sweat on the equipment at the gym. Even if nobody gets to wiping it down you’re helping the next person. They’ll waste less energy warming up that seat. It’s simple physics.

Towels are optional

Once you hit the locker room its time to let everything out. Guys, if you’re over 35 years old you don’t need a towel around your waist, they’re optional. In fact, take a towel and simply throw it over your shoulder in protest. Fellas, if you’re younger than 25 you need to wear a bathing suit, even into the showers. You don’t know what politician and/or priest might be in there, right? Ladies, I don’t know what it’s like in there but I can only imagine.

Talk loudly in the showers

We all know that running water can be pretty loud, especially when more than one shower is running. With that said, If you wish to hold a conversation with the person next to you then you’re going to need to speak up. Way up. In fact, everyone in the locker-rooms should be able to hear about what you’re doing this weekend, how obnoxious your kids are, and how much you hate George W. Bush. Naturally, the shower is the best and most appropriate time to converse with a friend of the same-sex. Nothing says rapport like scrubbing yourself during dialogue.

These are just some of the fundamental tips. Having read this you should have no trouble at the gym now. Any other suggestions? Leave them in the comments…

Miss Dewey Sucks

22 Replies

I want to talk about marketing production quality and how Miss Dewey lacks it. If you haven’t seen this site yet, it’s basically a search engine with a saucy librarian standing there being snarky and clever on occasion. If you don’t get around to typing in a search she’ll try to get your attention.

Quite annoying, really.

Does this novelty attract anyone? Sure. For the first visit. Do people come back again and again? No effing way.

Why not?

Humor works sparingly

Humor, as a marketing tool, gets old very quickly. Some people can execute humor extremely well. They end up making Miller Lite Commercials. But, do you see the same funny commercial more than once or twice during a football game? No way. The humor wears off and people become annoyed. Think of the Superbowl Commercials that get reused dozens of times for weeks after the game. You start to hate them pretty quickly.

The same goes for Dewey. She’ll grab a lot of quick attention but there’s no reason for me to go back and hear the same five witticisms on loop.

Quality over novelty

Here’s a fun bonus: turn up your volume when she begins talking and listen closely. You can hear the producers in the background (‘and… action’). They even talk to her (‘show me some more pouty… aw…’). How many people ignored that? That seems like a big oversight on someone’s part. I’d be embarrassed to put something like that on the web.

And that’s saying a lot given last my previous production!

Sure, the site probably didn’t take much time to make. Unfortunately, it shows. I think this is a pretty simplistic attempt at something ‘viral’ and so far it’s worked. But who did this, and why would they?

How to improve

Raise your hand if you enjoy Clippy.

Anyone with marketing sense would realize this is a terrible idea. First, where’s the value-added? It’s a talking search box on loop. Personally, I’d make her a lot more inappropriate. Suddenly an annoying gimmick becomes entertainment. That’s better execution. Godaddy used it and it seemed to work for them.

EVB messed up

This surprises me: after some quick research the company behind this site is EVB. They’ve made some great stuff and were even honored at SXSW for their work. EVB claims to “deliver entertaining and engaging content that connects with consumers” but I don’t see it in this site. I see an attempt to deliver something more personal (someone talking to me) and dynamic (my input or lack thereof initiates action from her).

But, overall, it’s lame. Daniel, if you’re listening, provide some insight, please?

College Etiquette

9 Replies

I’ve been in college for two and a half years now and I’ve picked up on some things. Going to college at a huge, public university has been a great experience. Don’t like the kid you’re sitting next to today? That’s fine, there’s 398 more to pick from tomorrow. Looking to meet some new people? Good! You’ve got 30,000 to pick from!

Okay, I admit, it’s not that easy to conquer the college lifestyle. With lots of people come lots of random encounters. Hopefully this guide will find you success in all your college endeavors.

Bathroom etiquette

If you’re a male and you’re looking to use the public facilities, god help you. We all know the ‘every-other-urinal’ rule. And, if you don’t, well, you’re going to make my bathroom experience pretty damn awkward. If you’re going to use a stall be sure to open the door as aggressively as possible, this lets everyone know you’re here. As a general rule though, go at home and stay away from these bathrooms.

But, sometimes we have little choice, especially in the dorms (luckily they clean those daily). Rest assured, the price you pay to use the public restrooms will be rewarded with clever newsletters posted to the walls and stall doors. Read slowly and enjoy these because they’ll remain for two months. If you’ve solved the riddle, do not, write the solution on the newsletter. This is both rude and frustrating to those of us spending 3 days a week trying to solve them.

Oh, and if you’re in the dorms and going out tonight, be sure to make a mess all over the counters. In the dorms, you’re more important than everyone around you. Your mess is for someone else to deal with. I hate people who try to convince me otherwise; this isn’t the “real world” or anything, assholes.

Guys, despite popular belief, it’s not cool to go up to the girls floors and wait for shower time. This is terribly taboo. Heaven help you if you brought your folding chair. Now you’re just being tactless.

Holding open doors

When you’re in college you’re important. You’re the future of the world. The fate of society rests on your shoulders. Be sure to remember that when I hold the door open for you. If you’re to acknowledge my act of kindness you’re going to bring yourself down to my level. This is to be avoided at all costs.

Holding the door open for someone else is obviously out of the question. By keeping the doors open longer than necessary you’re being extremely wasteful. Air conditioning is not cheap and every time you take a test in an obsessively hot room you can thank those assholes letting out all the cold air.

Walking around campus

Everyone drives on the right side of the road. The same should be observed when walking. This makes it easier for everyone to get from A to B. If you happen to encounter someone on the wrong side it’s best to show them they’re out of place by walking straight towards them and then shuffling left-right-left as if to politely avoid them. If you’re lucky they’ll perform the same dance and end up in the same spot as you. This social awkwardness is necessary to remind them they crossed the boundary.

If you’re a male walking on a narrow brick path along the grass and a female is approaching it’s customary to get off the path at least 20 meters in advance and walk in the grass (slash mud, slash snow). This is common sense because women deserve the nice brick path; by all means, do not treat them as equals. There are exceptions to this rule, though. If you’re a prick or listening to your iPod be sure to ignore everyone around you and maintain your course. Guys, if a female beats you and jumps off the path you do not remain on the path. You must still walk in the grass in order to symbolize your good intent. She may even make eye contact if you’re to do this. A glance from a girl on a campus of 40,000 is worth sacrificing a few blades of grass, I assure you.

Speaking in class

If you’re ridiculously smart (you know who you are) then, by all means, raise your hand at every opportunity made available. Professors love students that participate. Students love peers who can impart wisdom upon them. It’s like a value-added bonus to the college experience.

As a general rule, you need to speak slowly. This makes the class pass quickly and painlessly. If you’re talking about a very simple subject be sure to say the same thing once or twice during your monologue. This ensures every member of the class can understand your dense commentary. If you’re looking to get noticed be sure to counter and argue everyone’s points; especially the professor’s. You have no idea how cool it is when people come up to you at parties and know you as ‘the guy in my stats class who proved the teacher wrong’.

Cell phones

This may just be the most important section so pay close attention. Cell phones are to be used as badges of popularity. If you’re walking between classes and you’re not on the phone, you’re obviously a loser. In fact, pick up your phone and call someone to “see how they’re doing” just to make sure people know you have friends to talk to. This is win-win because it’ll also make your friends feel appreciated because you thought of them when you had nothing better to do.

When in an extremely loud area it can be hard to hear your conversation. If it’s a very important dialogue be sure to step into a quiet area, preferably a computer lab, library, or lounge and maintain your conversation at it’s previous volume level. This ensures the people around you notice your presence, popularity, and importance. Don’t take any less than three minutes to maintain this conversation, even if it requires going around the same point once or twice. If you can, be sure to laugh loudly; people who smile are seen as more attractive.

I’ve only touched on a few of the key experiences that college will bring and I hope it brings you good fortune. If you have any questions or additional tips please leave them in the comments.

9rules rocks

15 Replies

I had some free time today. Instead of a music video I did my own rap song in GarageBand. This song is dedicated to all those cool kids at 9rules. Enjoy.

Download 9rules rocks.mp3 (01:56, 2.2mb)

Let me tell you ’bout a site, it’s got lots of blogs
It’s older than you think, but not as much as pogs
Yeah, pogs, I can’t rhyme
The CD’s name? White comma Tyme.

Scrivs: Hi Tyme, Tyme: I’m sorry?

It came about in oh three, it looked wicked lame
It needed some design, so in Mike came

Mike: What does it taste like?

The CEO’s a dork, he danced like a fool
I challenged him because he looked so damn cool
His name’s Scrivs, S-C-R-I-V
He’s bringing sexy back just like JT

Tyme: Don’t you realize that? Laughing. Scrivs: What?

They go and look at the coolest blogs for us
Just like Justin I’ll take it to the chorus

9rules rocks, 9rules rules

Those members kick ass, I’ve met a lot
You guys know josue, he smokes tons of pot
People like Stammy look at Mint non-stop
Their heads are so big they’re about to pop

Just playing, you guys are the shit
You’re the best blog network, err content network, no community
Thats it!

9rules rocks, 9rules rules

If you dont have a Mac you cant get in
How’d Tyme get hired? Her purple-faced grin?

Tyme: Devin needs his ass spanked. Scrivs: You’re fucked.

But seriously, I love these guys
their sites are the best, they’re wicked flys!

Tyme: They’re doing something cool, Scrivs

They are, you know how we do
9rules, it rocks people
Let it be known
Back to the chorus

9rules rocks, 9rules rules

Shit, I’m not even a member.

Five Tips for Interviewing

5 Replies

There was a time when I considered myself a pretty clever guy. I thought I had a lot of things figured out. Then last week came and went and I made the biggest oversight of my life: companies are already interviewing May 2007 graduates for full-time positions in September.

That’s right. What month did we just finish? September. We’re interviewing a year in advance? Wow. There’s no time to lose then! I gave a presentation the other evening about interviewing and here are my five key tips.

1. Be Prepared

This one is so essential I figure everyone should know it. Truth is, most don’t. Before going into an interview you need to sit down and take some time thinking about yourself. What are your strengths? Can you give specific examples and stories of times you worked as a team player? Can you think of a time you recognized a problem and solved it? These are just a few of the very basic questions you should already know.

Additionally, you should know about the company, the position, and maybe even the people interviewing you. This seems common sense but if you want to demonstrate your desire to work for this company make sure you do your homework.

2. Show your personality

We know you’re qualified, that was the resume’s function. But who are you, really? Can you fit in and feel comfortable with this company? Be sure to show your personality and do your best to get a feel for theirs. Remember, the interview is not soley for their benefit; it’s for you, too. Do your best to answer questions that talk to your character (humor, attention to detail, trustworthiness, etc.).

I’ve interviewed with some of the big four public accounting firms and they all have you do the same thing: go to a social event before you go to the office, interview with a bunch of different people, sit in on presentations about the company and then go to lunch. There is no secret to this: they’re really trying to find out who you are. Culture is a big thing (even between the big 4, they differ) and this is the time to recognize that. They’re not just taking you to lunch to feed you, they want to see how you interact outside the office.

3. Always use specifics

When talking about yourself nobody wants to hear unsubstantiated generalizations. Back up what you have to say about yourself with details, facts, and best of all, stories. People relate to stories, they’re easier to follow. Interviews are a great way to practice your oral communication skills because you have to captivate your audience and sell yourself. BMW doesn’t talk about it’s speed without mentioning how long it takes to get to 60mph. Jewelers don’t sell diamonds without telling you the dimensions, right? Why would you tell a future employer about your ability to learn quickly without mentioning that one time when…

Just make sure you’re not long winded. Brevity is the soul of wit.

4. Stay positive

Want to know how to ruin a great opportunity? Answer the following question: what is it about your peers that annoys you the most? Trap question. How about: what was the one thing you hated most about your previous boss? Yikes. Sure, these are probably the questions you can answer the best, right? Don’t do it! If you’re talking about how incompetent your last employer was why would I want to bring that upon myself? Why do we want someone on our team who has no problems finding faults in co-workers? In the interview, try hard to find and answer but come up short. Stay positive like: I guess I get along with people pretty well!

5. Know thyself

This goes back to my first point. If you go into an interview and you don’t know what people think about you, you don’t know what your biggest strengths are, how are you going to be able to convince the person on the other side of the desk? Take some time to talk to peers, friends, co-workers, family and friends. Find out what they’d say about you and, of course, ask for the specifics.

Hopefully these help. I was approached by a few people and they said that having been to a few interviews these all make a lot of sense. So, as Sam put it:

You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can

How to work and study efficently

3 Replies

This week is the perfect storm. Apparently professors are very good at taking the number of weeks in a semester and dividing by three because they all decided this was the week. My projects, presentations, papers and exams won’t catch me off-guard though; I saw them coming thanks to some foresight (a calendar).

But, how do you make the best use of your time?

Determine your priorities

Continue reading →

Voting Sucks

16 Replies

I can’t help but get a little political for a minute. I was discussing the primaries with a friend today. This individual was spending a bunch of time researching different candidates, peering deep into their websites and analyzing their plans and how they fit this person’s own beliefs, values, etc. The act, although commendable, is fruitless.

My main problem at that point in the conversation was the fact that we’re going to base decisions on information on a candidates website. Ideas are awesome. Everyone has them. Heck, anyone can have a plan too because, lets be honest, a plan is simply a bunch of ideas organized by priority and/or time. But to then trust this people and simply assume (or extrapolate) the notion that they’ll then execute these ideas… well, that’s just silly.

Too Busy

For starters, politicians have plenty of time to come up with ‘ideas’ and ‘plans’ before they’re elected. They don’t have too many responsibilities to take up their free time so they spend it brainstorming (and campaigning for a little bit, sure). While this may or may not be true I can picture a guy in a suit sitting at home doodling on his notepad with a picture of melting ice caps and a big fan trying to keep them cool. Then there are those in congress that run for re-election and win it something like 94% of the time. Incumbency is going to kill this country for one simple reason: these people are already politicians and don’t have time to sit around and doodle. Instead they have to go to meetings, lunches, and play golf with other politicians. The brainstorming process halts once you’re sworn in. If there’s no time for doodling do you believe for a second there’d be any room for ‘executing’ those ‘ideas’ from earlier? I rest my case…

Passionate Morons

Once in a blue moon you’ll find someone who really cares to do their job. The only problem being: they’re a freaking nut case. The only people who want to get out there and make changes are those who shouldn’t be allowed to make changes in the first place (or children for that matter). As Jon Stewart put it: the country ends up being run by extremeists because moderates have shit to do. Seriously, congress is full of old, incompentent morons. Remember the series of tubes? As an employee of the backbone of the internet, nothing scares me more than the government right now.

“Teens are extremely socially aware, but favour participation through their consumption choices, because they believe corporations are more effective agents of change than governments.” Link via Noah

Spot on. In fact, I’d get into politics if it weren’t so damned.. well, political.

Why vote?

So at this point I clearly lack confidence in anyone or anything trying to get my vote. It’s going to take a lot to convince me that you’re not too busy or a passionate moron (or unethical, or an adulterer, or any other stereotype). But wait, it’s my duty to vote, right? I mean, that’s what I’ve been told since elementary school government class. I guess I don’t appreciate the argument that I need to vote simply because people in Africa can’t. Any kid who’s been told to finish their dinner because kids in China are starving know where I’m coming from here. As a kid the “you need to vote” lecture ranks up there with “sharing is good”, you don’t really question it…

Interestingly enough I can name one good reason to not vote: you have no economic interest. At least, that’s what Steven Levitt (Freakonomics) serves up.

Why would an economist be embarrassed to be seen at the voting booth? Because voting exacts a cost – in time, effort, lost productivity – with no discernible payoff except perhaps some vague sense of having done your “civic duty.” As the economist Patricia Funk wrote in a recent paper, “A rational individual should abstain from voting.” (NYTimes)

Fair enough. I’ve got another good reason: there’s no way you can really be informed enough to make a good decision. I don’t think any of us really understand all the issues enough to have an opinion one way or another (to make the best decision). This is why Scott calls himself a Ignorantselfishertarian. Then again, what are the most recent and pressing issues we need to tackle? The importance of same-sex marriage and it’s implications on society? Flag burning? Do I really need to spend time waiting in line to elect someone to vote on this crap?

So what do we do?

I really like Scott Adams’ Pragmatic Party. I think the more realistic solution, though, is to wait a few more years for the ‘old guard’ to phase itself out of elected positions (in Castro fashion). Just imagine, in 10-20 years we’ll be dancing in the streets…

…if the country makes it that long.

Biphasic Sleep (Napping) FAQ

63 Replies

I keep getting asked a few of the same questions so I thought I’d take a post to gather my thoughts on biphasic sleeping, also known as napping.

1. You sleep… when exactly?

I sleep twice in a day. The first time being sometime in the early evening (around 8:30) and this block of sleep is only for 90 minutes (at least, thats the plan, see #4). After my first block of sleep I’m extremely refreshed and ready to go another few hours. I set myself to be back up by about 6 so I either go to sleep again at 1:30a or 3a. Note these are in 90 minute increments again.

2. What does 90 minutes have to do with anything?

The 90-minute cycle actually refers to one complete sleep cycle. This includes going through REM sleep; the most important part of sleeping. Since I don’t force myself to wake up in the middle of a sleep cycle I’m much more refreshed and it’s much easier to actually get up.

3. Is it hard to get up at 6 every day?

Surprisingly, no. I used to have trouble getting up at 8 or even 9 every day. I’m convinced it was because I was constantly pulling myself up out of the middle of a sleep cycle. Our brains get stuck down in ‘sleep world’ and have a hard time unnaturally coming back up.

4. Do you ever screw up your sleeping schedule?

On occasion, yes. It’s funny but sometimes I’ll mis-set my alarm and find myself taking a 3 or 4.5 hour nap. I actually wake up naturally at 3 or 4.5 hours. I smile because people who thought I’d be ‘back in a few’ or would ‘call them in an few hours’ end up going to sleep that night slightly confused. They know its something nap-related. Oh well. I just adjust my second sleep period. For example, last night I went to bed at 9:30p and woke up at 2a. Oops! I ended up working until 5a, slept until 6:30 and, well, here I am! I had a midterm at 9:30 and have felt fine all day.

5. Do you ever sleep in?

To me, “sleeping in” is anything more than 6 hours. My body is pretty good at waking itself up automatically after a REM cycle (end of a 90 minute increment). On Saturdays I treat myself to 7.5 or 9 hours of sleep. People who advocate 8 hours of sleep are nuts. Seriously.

6. Does this interfere with your (social) life?

Nope. If I’m not in a place where I can’t just decide to take a nap then I simply don’t that day. I will just sleep 6 or 7.5 hours that evening and pick back up the next day. It seems like the simplest solution and hasn’t given me any problems. I do start to yawn quite a bit though as the night wears on..

7. Are there any side effects?

Increased productivity, smaller todo piles, less magazines to read on my bookshelf (hopefully this will carry over to books). But seriously, there have been no medical side effects whatsoever. This is far from anything radical like polyphasic sleeping.

8. Would you try polyphasic sleeping?

I’ll try anything. I don’t see it as something feasable for me at any point in my life. I may be wrong though. If I ever have the ability to control my schedule like that (30m naps every 4h) then sure, I’ll give myself a month or so to try it out.

9. Where did you even hear about this?

I find neat stuff online. This happens to be one of those things…