I magically got a little sick (I never get sick). My throat hurts. It’s not good. Luckily I’m a guy and it’s okay for me to clear my throat profusely about a dozen times an hour. Additionally, we’re allowed to spit up anything we find back there. Gross? Sure. Sense of relief? Definitely. Anyway, one of the perks of working at a big company is the unlimited sources of hot drinks in the break room. Read on as I explore the tea section…
No, seriously. I’m going to use today to drink all the different teas available to me in the break room. Hopefully one of the many will help me find relief. Even if I don’t, I’ll feel accomplished: I drank every tea available. I should be in charge of boosting morale because it’s lunch time and I’m still excited to be at work…
Green Tea
To begin, the box says there is caffeine and antioxidants. Of course, it describes this much more eloquently than I. But, you get the point: I’m somehow going to be alert and healthy having indulged said tea. Looking at the little packet though the ingredients read as follows: “Ingredients: Green Tea“. Not only did they neglect to mention the caffeine and antioxidants, it didn’t taste much better than leaf water. In fact my stomach hurts a tad.
C-
Lemon Zinger
What on earth is a zinger? I don’t think Celestial Seasonings had any of these definitions in mind. Oh, I taste the zing now. Neato. It even makes my office smell like zing. Mmm mm. The taste is far better than the Green Tea and the tint of red leads me to believe there is some sort of berry involved in this. I glanced at the ingredients list again. This time there were about 20; I didn’t have time to actually look at them. This is probably what tea is meant to taste like.
A-
Hot Chocolate
It’s not tea but I needed something tasty for lunch. What do I get when I go to Starbucks? Yeah. I’m not a big caffeine/coffee/tea guy.
A+
Mandarin Orange Spice
This one smells the best out of all of them so far. It was with this packet I also learned that there are quotes on the end of the little dipping tabby thing. I’m obviously not a (celestial) seasoned tea drinker. Here was my quote: “There’s nothing that keeps its youth, so far as I know, but a tree and a truth.” Huh? I think I need to drink more tea to start understanding poetry. Oh, the orange tasted alright. Not quite as nice as the zinger.
B
Earl Gray
At this point I’m just a little sick of tea. It’s 3:30 and I don’t think my burnt tongue was up for this. I feel funny, too. Maybe it’s the tea, maybe it’s the old pizza for lunch, or maybe even that expired yogurt I had for breakfast. Whatever it is, Earl Gray is only compounding the problem. It’s too boring. Sure, if this were a perfect world I’d probably have lemon, milk and honey on standby but I don’t. Thus, a terrible stand-alone grade.
D
The End
There you have it; that was my tea experience. There’s really no excuse for this, I’m not even taking any drugs. Tune in next week to watch my continual progress as I slip further into insanity.
Some recommendations for a sore throat:
1. Don’t clear your throat profusely if you don’t want to be hoarse and prolong the soreness. It might make you feel better now, but you’ll still be miserable in a week. Trust me, I’m a singer ;)
2. All of the tea you tried is gross! Well, green is okay, but not my favorite. Try Celestial Seasonings Throat Soothers tea, or Sleepytime, if you’re not all tea-ed out. Anything non-caffinated (lots of caffiene drys out your throat and makes the problem worse) with chamomile and honey in it is good too. Plus, that tastes way better than Earl Gray.
Hope you feel better!
I obviously had no idea what I was getting into. Good thing I write about the random nonsense in my life. It leads to enlightenment.
Thanks for the tips, Kerry. :)
You get paid to write reviews of the teas available in the break room? Nice job.
For head and chest congestion, try this:
“Grate a one-inch piece of peeled gingerroot. Put it in a pot with two cups of cold water, bring to the boil, lower heat, and simmer five minutes. Add one half teaspoon cayenne pepper and simmer one minute more. Remove from heat. Add two tablespoons of fresh lemon juice and honey to taste.”
This should do wonders for your congestion, and will really put some ‘zing’ in your step. ;-)
I think I only have 25% of aforementioned ingredients. I guess I don’t use ginger root all that much. Thanks for the remedy, Vince.
How long did you leave the green tea brewing in the cup for? – leaving it too long does tend to give it an icky bitter taste.
And I’m with you on the Earl Grey – the stuff is hideous, and I’m British, so I’m allowed to insult tea ;)
I would recommend Vince’s remedy – one particularly hellish winter season, my Taiwanese then-flatmate kept me going with gallons of ginger tea.
Hm, perhaps that was my mistake. Goodness knowns I always have tomorrow to perfect my brewing skills. ;)
The English Breakfast iced chai tea at Starbucks is great! They’ll prolly ask you if you want sugar syrup in it when you order, say yes and it’s really… really… really nice. I think it’s got a lot of caffeine in it though, I feel a bit hyper after them; but they’re good.
Blah, devin.
Goto starbucks and get a white tea over ice. Doesn’t even taste like tea really, and its good.
Damn you and your hot chocolate!
Hmm, both are tasty sounding ideas. I’ll check em out, guys. :)
What’s wrong with you people? Earl Gray is the best!
Okay Devin, you obviously have no sense as to what good tea is, so noah and i are making you some this weekend!
I don’t think it’s about having good sense… it’s about availability.
true…so, this weekend i will make good tea more available to you =)
I’m actually sick right now (I just woke up with a cold) and am trying to drink lots of tea as well. I actually don’t really like hot drinks other than hot chocolate but I was suggested to drink lemon honey tea and it was good! So, now I’m trying to drink tea, orange juice, take vitamins, and get lots of rest to get over this cold!