{"id":469,"date":"2008-05-03T13:39:43","date_gmt":"2008-05-03T18:39:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/devinreams.com\/blog\/2008\/05\/03\/my-favorite-airline-passengers-part-i\/"},"modified":"2008-05-03T13:39:43","modified_gmt":"2008-05-03T18:39:43","slug":"my-favorite-airline-passengers-part-i","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/?p=469","title":{"rendered":"My Favorite Airline Passengers, Part I"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve done a bunch of flying in the last few months (for work and training). I still get a little excited every time I fly. Airports have so many people and airplanes have so many people in a small spot. This means excellent people watching. I&#8217;ve come up with some of my favorite passenger profiles:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><strong>Can&#8217;t fit anything in the over-head bin:<\/strong> Why does it take 30 minutes to get 100 people on a small commuter plane? Because of this guy. Maybe if you owned a less awkwardly shaped bag you wouldn&#8217;t struggle to find a bin that a L-shaped opening. Seriously, you weren&#8217;t that good at tetris, why do you think you can manage this bin? Go find another one and let me guy by!<\/li>\n<li><strong>Wonders why there isn&#8217;t a blanket:<\/strong> Why are you making a big deal? You paid $400+ for this seat and your happiness is hinging on a pillow \/ blanket. Those things are gross, expensive, and if it&#8217;s such a necessity&#8211;why don&#8217;t you pack one? Stop bothering the flight attendant and making me listen to you.<\/li>\n<li><strong>Slept through beverage service:<\/strong> If you can&#8217;t stay awake for the 20 minute boarding process, 5 minute taxing and 15 minute ascent before beverage service why do you deserve a cup of Sprite? Are you really that tired? Was there nothing you could&#8217;ve done to pass the few minutes before a drink would come around? Apparently so because now you and the seven other lazy passengers are going to make the attendant go back and forth between the galley. That&#8217;s 14 trips he or she didn&#8217;t need to do.<\/li>\n<li><strong>The seatbelt sign doesn&#8217;t apply to me:<\/strong> The plane touched the ground, seatbelt off! Dude, you&#8217;re in row 24&#8211;you won&#8217;t be grabbing your bag for at least 12 more minutes: sit down! Oh and why did you think it was cool to get up and go to the bathroom whenever you wanted? The light is on because it&#8217;s not safe, dummy. I&#8217;m glad they called you out over the intercom, you self-centered tool.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Please tell me you fit one of these profiles because you make my flights go so much faster! And if you&#8217;re not, please tell me you find as much pleasure in these people as I do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;ve done a bunch of flying in the last few months (for work and training). I still get a little excited every time I fly. Airports have so many people and airplanes have so many people in a small spot. This means excellent people watching. I&#8217;ve come up with some of my favorite passenger profiles: [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[17,18,42,73,577],"class_list":["post-469","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-internet","tag-airlines","tag-airport","tag-flight","tag-people","tag-travel"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=469"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/469\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=469"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=469"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wordpress.reams.me\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=469"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}